Fallout 4: What You Were
by BecauseItsALittleHumid
Summary: Nora knows Nick Valentine from the old world. She knew him very well. When she runs into him in a post apocalyptic nightmare, she didn't expect to find him as a robot. A story in which Nora and Nick dated briefly in the old world and now they must work together to find her son.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue.

* * *

"You goddamn fucking ass hole." I launched the hairdryer at him and he ducked easily.

"Christ, Nora! I just wanted to talk about this! Put that down!" he bobbed again as a magazine hurtled towards him.

"Oh you wanna talk about it, huh?" I sat down on my couch and crossed my legs, "How was she?"

"Nora..."

"Hey Nick, you wanted to talk about it, so talk! Is she good, huh? Would little miss Lands suck your dick in the back of your car just how you like it? Oh what am I thinking, of course she does! Why the fuck else would you sleep with her?" I yelled but he let me keep going, "You have some fucking nerve doing this to me, you know. Who the fuck do you think you are, Frank Sinatra?"

Nick looked down at the floor. It was the new carpet, I just had it put in. His favourite shade of blue. He said nothing for a moment, just shook his head and loosened his tie. He'd made detective last week, and that god awful pink and yellow tie was the only one he owned. Only reason he had it was because he wore it to my brother's wedding last year.

"Nora... things haven't been right with us for a while, doll. You know this." he said slowly.

"Doll?" I scoffed, "No, no, mister, I ain't you're goddamn _doll _anymore."

He looked hurt by my saying that. He had a nerve. _He_ was the one fucking some tootsie roll behind my back. Three goddamn months he had been seeing her. Taking her out, buying her flowers... Fucking bastard.

What was I doing? Well, trying to scrape together a law career is hard when you're moving into your first house. But no, Nick had to put work first. He didn't have time to paint the kitchen or tile the bathroom, his job came first. And then to find out those "late nights" he was working, he was really just taking her out to dinner? Well, that was the great big hunk of straw that broke the camel's back.

"Nora, I'm sorry." he said, his voice breaking. In hindsight, the poor bastard was sorry and he was hurting. He couldn't meet my eye, he'd barely even stepped through the front door of our apartment after he shut it. He ran a hand through his deep brown hair and sighed. As he looked up there were tears shimmering in his eyes. The flashing yellow light of the motel sign outside made them twinkle.

"You're not sorry," my voice fell into a sob. It caught me off guard, I hadn't expected it through my anger. He tentatively sat beside me.

"Hey..." He said.

I turned away from him and tried to wipe away the tears streaming down my face.

"Nora, I am so sorry that it happened this way. I love you-"

"Like fuck, you do!"

"I do. I love you and I always have but... I changed. This is me, this is all on me... I should have ended it with you when I felt different but..."

"You were too much of a goddamn coward." I snapped.

He nodded and rubbed his face, it made a rough sound from the stubble that he hadn't shaved. He needed a new razor, he was complaining last week that his was going blunt.

"Just get your things and go, Nick." I whispered after the silence. He said nothing else but stood and gathered up a few boxes of necessities. He would have to pick up most of his clothes off the sidewalk. I'd tossed the majority of them out the window. He hesitated before he left, but as the door clicked shut I knew that would be the last I saw of Nick Valentine.

Two years later I met Nate. I was out celebrating after winning a case with the guys from my office. Well, half celebrating. We managed to get some kid's sentence lightened to a year in the can rather than ten. He was sixteen, barely old enough to wipe his own ass. The charges were drug related. Stupid. A waste. If I had my way he'd be doing community service. Kids like that in jail make friends with the wrong people and that's when shit hits the fan.

Anyway I'd met Nate that night, he was on leave. A soldier. Not usually my type but Nate... He was different.

"What about you hot shot? You and your buddies want a drink?" I'd said.

"Depends. Who's buying?" he replied with a wink.

The rest is history. We got married two years later, had to wait a year while he was in service. We had our honeymoon in Ireland. Nate had family there and my great great grandmother was Irish so we thought, what the hell.

It rained the whole goddamn time. Not that we didn't have plenty of indoor activities to do. Lets just say I'll never look at Monopoly the same way again. A year later I was pregnant and we had our new house and life seemed to be... perfect.

I remember reading the paper one afternoon, I must have been about 8 months along, I couldn't do much else. But I remember on the second page, behind all the talk of Nuclear War... A woman named Jennifer Lands was shot by the mob, her fiance Nick Valentine had asked for privacy during this difficult time. I remember being stunned. Surprised that the two of them were still together and stunned that she was dead. Shot in the back. And for what?

"Awful what happened to that girl." Nate said through his toast as he read the article over my shoulder. "This place is really going to hell in a hand basket if a woman can't walk down the street without being shot."

I said nothing, I just kept reading his name over and over.

"Poor bastard. Must be terrible for him." he continued.

I folded over the paper and reached back to hold Nate's hand. "I know," I said. "It's hard to imagine."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1 Ain't that a kick in the head?

* * *

Crawling out of that vault was the hardest thing I'd ever done, or would do. Freezing cold and alone, I pulled myself out of it, unable to even cry from the shock. Nate was dead. Dead, just as the rest of the world was. His corpse slouched over in that icy sarcophagus like a wax figure. And Sean... he was gone. Taken by some fucking psychopaths in lab suits. It didn't seem real.

What the fuck was going on?

That's the one thought that kept blaring in my head. How long had I been down in that vault? Seeing the bomb hit and the mushroom cloud shoot up in the air, I understood it wasn't exactly going to be sunshine and rainbows up here. But what about the radiation? All the crappy ads had said it would take decades, maybe even a hundred years for it to be safe... Breathing in the clear air was a lot more unsettling than it should be. The skeletons lying everywhere weren't helping either. I stumbled as far as I could through the wrecked world until I got to Sanctuary Hills. I'd met Codsworth there, our old handyman robot. He told me where I was, what had happened. He mourned the death of Nate, as much as a robot could and he accompanied me further out towards the city. He told me there were more people in Concord. That's where I met the ever admirable Preston Garvey. It shocked me to meet someone so kind out here and yet... I still would never get on the wrong side of Preston. I'd seen what he could do with that rifle first hand.

And that was me, thrust out into a post apocalyptic Boston, trekking half way across it, risking life and limb to find my baby boy. Sounds like something straight out of a movie doesn't it? After founding Sanctuary Hills as a safe place for people to live, and rescuing another few places like it, I set off for Diamond city, whatever that meant. Mama Murphy, the crazy old crack head, told me that I'd find someone who might be able to get Sean back. If I'd learnt anything growing up in Boston, it was that crack heads usually know what they're talking about, no matter how bat shit it might come across. So I took her advice. I'd little else to go on. I also took her dog, Dogmeat, she called him. I asked if I could change his name but she told me that he picked it so it wouldn't be right. I warily agreed. He was the sweetest dog, came running straight over to me at the Red Rocket. It was nice to have someone nearby when I was travelling through this wasteland.

I got... distracted a few times on the way to Diamond City. For one, I stumbled across a place I thought was Diamond City that turned out to be some run down place called Goodneighbor. Ended up on some sort of heist with a ghoul called Bobbi. Don't get me started on the ghouls.

"You done staring, vault suit? Take a picture it might last longer." She'd croaked when we were digging our way through the tunnels to her treasure trove.

"Sorry. I didn't realise... does it hurt?" I asked.

She scoffed and shook her head, "Christ you must be new in town. I'm a ghoul. Radiation, sweetheart, it's a killer for the complexion. Still, I'd say I look pretty good for 220."

I had to do a double take, "You're shitting me." I sputtered out and she laughed. She didn't explain any further.

From what I gathered, it meant that most ghouls were there or somewhere around, when the bombs dropped. It was hard to wrap my head around, yet here I was 230 years old having just climbed out of a freezer. It was then I'd met Hancock, the mayor of the shit hole that was Goodneighbor. He was another ghoul. Though not one that was there when the bombs dropped, no his particular affliction was due to some crazy drug. I liked Hancock, I could buy into his "Of the people for the people" bullshit. He was honest and had a smart mouth. Give me a guy that can make me laugh any day. But most importantly, he liked to see bad guys get hurt. That was something we could both readily agree on. He even took me out to target practice on a couple of raiders.

"I gotta say, Nora, you got a knack for it." He said once the firefight was done.

"Well, I was married to a soldier. I've shot my fair share of beer bottles off the wall."

He chuckled easily, "Well, a bit more practice and you'll be one hell of a gunslinger."

I was quite proud of myself for that. In my old life, I'd never even think about picking up a gun to shoot an actual living breathing thing. No, a beer bottle was where I drew the line. Killing, fighting, surviving... That was Nate's domain. I used words, I talked. I was a lawyer and a goddamn good one at that. Seemed like nobody wanted to talk anymore. Hancock finally got me to Diamond City but made up some excuse about having to head back to Goodneighbour.

"Official Mayor business. I won't bore you with the details."

I watched him with suspicion as he disappeared back into the shadows of the Boston ruins. From that alone, my opinion of Diamond city was soured, somewhat. I met Piper then. She looked like a caricature of some old world paper girl, but she was sweet. Slightly salty when I refused an interview but she convinced me none the less. I remember, back in the old world, when a missing persons case came up, the more you kept it in the public eye the more likely they'd be found. So I gave her an interview and I told her what happened, who I was and how I'd gotten here.

"Wow, Blue," she'd taken to calling me, "Thank you for your honesty. I'm sure someone out there will have heard something or seen something. This can only help!"

"That's actually why I came here." I sighed, standing up from my chair and grabbing a Nuka Cola that she'd offered me earlier. I took a long sip. "I was told that I might be able to find someone who could help me track down Shaun."

Piper thought briefly before chirping up, "Valentine!"

"What?"

"He's a detective here in Diamond City. He's just down past the market, there's a sign you can't miss it. Valentine's Detective agency." she smiled, also sipping a cola.

"Detective Valentine." I repeated. Surely not. He'd be long dead.

Piper looked curiously at me, "I know the name's a bit corny, but he's one of the good ones, Blue. Probably your best shot."

"Yeah, of course. I'll find him. Thanks, Piper."

"Hey, thank you. This story will go right off."

The bell on her small door chimed clearly as I stepped back out into the bustling streets of Diamond City. When I say streets, I mean the planks of wood laid out in neat rows, and when I say city, I mean the old baseball stadium. God, if Nate could see what they'd done to the place he'd be furious. He loved his baseball. I continued on past the market and true enough, a gaudy, pink, heart shaped sign caught my eye. It flickered and buzzed, but I followed it's glow down a small alley to where I found the agency. I hesitated before going in. This was too much of a coincidence and being a lawyer, I'd learned there's no such thing. But it was impossible, even if there was such a thing as ghouls, Nick lived right in the city, he wouldn't have a pass to a vault... He couldn't possibly be here after all this time. My heart was skipping beats when I pushed open the door and walked inside.

It was a dingy room. Dust floated about in the thin beams of light that managed to get in and everything was a mess. Files everywhere, paper crumbled up and thrown on the floor. The ash tray on the desk hadn't been emptied for days. It smelt musty too, like an old living room. The only sign of life was the young woman that came bustling from behind a filing cabinet, haphazardly carrying a bundle of paper. She made a surprised noise when she saw me and puffed a stray strand of hair from her face.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we're closed." she said, setting down the papers on the already cluttered desk.

"I uh... I was told there was a detective here?" I said, stepping into one of the dust beams. She tried to tap the papers on the desk to make them neat but she stopped sharply when they wouldn't stand straight.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to come back another time." She rubbed the bridge of her nose and got back to her papers.

"Okay toots, ease up on the attitude." I wasn't leaving with nothing. This was my only lead on finding Shaun, to hell with her "come back later" bullshit.

Her gaze snapped to mine and she looked everything like a rabbit caught in headlights. But her eyes softened and she shook her head.

"No you're right, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude... Just that. The detective is missing."

"Missing?"

"Yes missing. He was working on a case: Skinny Malone and his gang kidnapped a girl and he was hired by her family to bring her home. He tracked them to their base and took off. I told him he was headed for a trap but he just smiled and walked out the door like he always does. I haven't heard from him since." She sighed and slouched down in the desk chair.

This couldn't be just a dead end. I wasn't going to wait around on some detective who may or may not be dead.

"Where did you say he went?" I asked.

She looked up at me again and nodded, "Oh no I wouldn't ask you to go, ma'am. The detective can handle himself, it'd be too dangerous. He could walk through that door any minute."

"What's your name, sweetheart?" I asked, shortly.

"Kellie, ma'am." Again with the rabbit in the head lights.

"Look Kellie, I've just pulled myself out of a 200 year nap in a freezer, I watched my husband get shot in front of me and I watched the same bastards that killed him run off with my son. Now, your detective is the only hope I have of finding my son in this god forsaken hell hole. So, you gonna tell me where this guy went? Cause I'll tell you now, there's nothing too dangerous out there that will stop me from finding my boy."

Kellie swallowed hard and immediately began scrambling amidst her paper. She finally grabbed one and read out,

"Park Street Station. That's where the gang is based. There's an old vault down there."

I nodded and tried to swallow my temper. Honestly, she didn't deserve that so I tried to be calmer.

"Thank you," I said quietly, "I'll find your detective, you can count on that."

She seemed to nearly smile when I said that but she didn't say anything as I left.

I remembered where park street had been back before the bombs but navigating was tricky when every street you used to know was reduced to near rubble. It took me a full day and night before I finally stumbled across the square. The little freedom trail robot was still there.

The station itself was filled with gangsters. Real cheesy ones, with the Tommy guns and tailored suits. They seemed to be coming from everywhere. I found myself pinned behind a pillar, clutching my rifle in hand and hoping to god that when I poked my head out that I wouldn't come face to face with a bullet. Two were on me firing from the opposite side of the tracks and neither coming out of their cover. But their guns ran out of bullets quickly and it was easy enough to time a gap in their fire. I felt as though all of Nate's endless talk about soldiering was finally coming in useful. The break came and I pounced. I barely aimed, only sheer instinct told me where to fire, but I heard a definite thud to the ground. When the shooting started again it only came from one gun.

"Come on," I whispered to myself. "Think of Shaun, think of Shaun..." I said this to myself over and over until I finally ducked out and fired. The guys head exploded and the train tracks fell quiet. I fell back against the pillar and tried to calm my breathing but it was no use. I thought my lungs might explode. For the first time since I'd came to the surface I was aware of how fucking insane this was. Any one of those bullets could have killed me. Any one of those bastards could have blown me up or beat me or worse and still I'd ran in, shooting them down, not even thinking about who they were or what lead them here. Did them have a family? Were they lonely? Were they afraid to die? I couldn't stop the big messy sobs that escaped my mouth then. They echoed down the tunnels like ghosts.

"Think of Shaun." I whispered as I pulled myself up to stand. "Think of Shaun." I wiped furiously at my tears. I tried to think of my baby's little hands and his arms and that smile he'd yet to master. I tried to think of his big blue eyes and his giggle that only Nate seemed to get out of him. But when I tried to, all I could think of was that bastard pointing the gun at Nate, pulling the trigger and walking away with my son.

"At least we have a spare." He'd said.

I could see his face, clear as day. Ageing, balding, ragged and scarred. His mean black eyes looking right through me before he walked away.

"You'll get him, Nora." I said to myself. This dried the tears on my cheeks. "I'll get him." I said again. I sniffed once more, before tightening the grip on my gun and continuing on inside the vault.

The same mobsters were on guard here too. I took down each and every one of them. It didn't matter who they were now, in my mind all I could see was his face. They stood in my way of finding Shaun, they were as culpable as he was.

I finally came to a quiet stairwell. No mobsters aside from one at the top and he was talking to someone through a glass window.

"How you doin in there, Valentine?"

Bingo. Without another thought I put my gun to my eye and fired. It hit him in the neck. I rushed up the stairs and tried to open the door. I heard a muffled voice through the glass and saw a silhouetted figure point to the terminal behind me. I scrambled with the keys to open it before any more of those goons showed up. The doors finally hissed open and I turned to see the mysterious detective.

"Gotta love the reverse damsel in distress scenario," The figure pulled out a cigarette and lit it. The small glow revealed a pair of yellow eyes. I knew that fucking voice. "Question is why did our brave heroine come all this way, risk life and limb for an old private eye?"

My stomach lurched but I stepped into the light to get a better look. It caught me off guard at first. I'd expected his brown hair and clear intelligent eyes or the five o'clock shadow that he never shaved. I didn't expect to be looking at a broken down robot with yellow eyes and half a hand missing. But the way he smoked that cigarette was so Nick. It had to be him... The voice was the same, the way he carried himself, hell even the situation he was in right now. It couldn't have been anybody else.

"Nick Valentine..." I said, taking another step towards him. He must have seen me clearly because his jaw dropped and so did the cigarette. Those eyes were his too, yellow LEDs as they were, they still held that quiet intelligence. Whatever kind of robotics that were inside him whirred that little bit louder before he spoke.

"Nora?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2 Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

* * *

He looked at me for a long time without saying a word. It gave me a chance to run my eye over him again. He was a robot. As robot as robot could get. His skin was worn and plastic looking, it had come off to leave his right hand bare so the metal joints and wires were exposed. He was wearing a fedora and a long trench coat, like one of those old movie detectives. He always said he'd like to look like that. But it was his face and his eyes. They were jarringly Nick's. Those eyes, even as they flicked yellow as he blinked, they were the same thoughtful, quick and endearing eyes they'd always been.

From the warehouse below, we heard shouts and heavy footsteps.

"We have to go, we'll have time for a catch up later." That was all he said and I couldn't help but pick up the darker tone in his voice. I dated Nick for nearly two years, I knew when something was pissing him off. I nodded and through him the pistol from the dead gangster outside. He caught it and looked almost shocked at the shot I'd made. We fought our way back through the vault and out onto the train tracks again. It was a lot easier with two people. When Skinny Malone stopped us, Nick tossed a few words his way and that big bastard tossed them back. I had my eye on the girl. Her hands were twisting tighter and tighter around the grip of her bat the more the conversation escalated.

"Come on, just shoot 'em!" She hissed. Kidnapped my ass. It wasn't long after that the bullets began flying. Nick took down a few of the mobsters with ease and focused on Skinny but the girl headed straight for me. The bat through me off, no matter how much I shot, I kept aiming wide.

"Shit!" I hissed, as I urgently tried to shove more bullets into my rifle. The girl landed her bat right into my left side. I was floored. I'd never been hit by a base ball bat before and safe to say it's not something I'd relive again in a hurry. I tumbled to the ground in a heap, expecting another psychotic blow any second but a final gun shot rang out and she flopped instantly to the ground. Nick stood, arm outstretched, his pistol smoking in his clawed hand. I nodded in thanks and he returned it. He didn't help me up from the ground, no matter if I thought my ribs might be broken.

When we made it back to the surface it was bright outside, about midday, judging by the sun. I looked up to the sky and shielded my eyes. It seemed brighter after the bombs dropped. The square was quiet, bright, almost peaceful if it wasn't for the distant gunfire.

Nick holstered his pistol and turned his back to me. I saw his hand move up to his head to scratch under his hat. He said nothing. I felt embarrassed. Like I shouldn't be here. Nick and I hadn't spoke since the night he left and that vain part of me told me to call it all off, I'd find another detective... No. This was it, he was the closest thing I had to Sean. Awkward reunion be damned.

"So..." I said. He didn't turn around. Only lifted his head and sighed.

"So," he shrugged. Another bout of silence began to filter it's way in but I pushed through it.

"How you been?" I said stupidly.

"How do you think?" he snapped. He was stiff and awkward but angry too. What the fuck had he got to be angry about?

"Years haven't been too kind to you," I said smartly, strapping my rifle over my shoulder and walking on ahead in the direction of Diamond City.

I heard him scoff, "Still got a mouth."

"Still have a chip on your shoulder? I kick you out 200 years ago and you still won't play nice?" I heard his foot steps grow heavier behind me. He went back to silence.

"You're not gonna ask me why I'm here?" I asked, turning back to look at him. I'd almost forgot about the whole robot thing.

He shook his head, "Still trying to figure that one out." There was no endearing snark to his comment. No, sense that he was in anyway glad to see me. He was completely cold.

"You got something up your ass there, Nicky?" He hated the pet name. I'd taken to using it anytime he was in a mood.

"Just never expected I'd run into _you._" he growled, storming on ahead. We were passing the old pond but I stopped dead.

"Excuse me?"

"What?" He snapped, turning around to face me.

"What the hell is your problem?"

He searched my face a moment, his eyes squinting. Then he scoffed again and shook his head.

"You mean to tell me you don't know?"

"Enlighten me, please." I hissed.

He took another few paces towards me, he cut an intimidating figure in that robot get up.

"Larry Fitzpatrick," he said.

I raised an eye brow.

"Got caught selling Cocaine for Eddie Winter. You and your gang of lawyers got his sentence lightened to one year in prison. One year, Nora. He should've done ten."

"That's what you're so pissed about?" I laughed, "That some kid got outta jail early? Come on Nick, he was seventeen! Prison is no place for a kid like that."

"Yea, well when that same _kid _got out, he shot my Jenny in the back!"

An explosion sounded somewhere on the other side of the city. It's boom echoing out over the silence. I felt my mouth flutter for words but I couldn't find any. What did he expect me to say to that? That I was sorry? I felt my brow furrow and I huffed. His face was full of anger, even in that robotic expression, that was still Nick's face. I could read him like a fucking book. It was how I finally guessed that he was seeing her behind my back.

"Just forget about it," he snarled, before turning and walking away. I immediately followed.

"You're really gonna put that on me?"

He stopped and turned to face me again, pointing at himself with his metal hand. "It was my case," he said, "don't tell me you didn't let him off out of spite. Only thing I know is that if that kid did ten years then she would have lived."

"Or Winter would have had another lackey do it," I snapped, "What fucking difference would it have made? I didn't know it was you're case, how dare you think I would stoop so low. You think I let my personal life get in the way of my job like that? Don't flatter yourself, Nick. That was my job, that's what I got paid to do, if it wasn't up to your goddamn standards then that's tough. I defended people; people who were more often than not gonna get railroaded by the system. I'm sorry that he shot Jenny, really Nick, I am. But don't you dare try and lay her death at my feet."

"He was part of his gang, he was culpable," He said lowly.

That word, "culpable." Wasn't I just killing people for that same reason? I shut my mouth and looked at my feet.

"You aren't sorry, Nora. You don't understand what it's like to stand and watch as the person you love dies in front of you, and I hope you never do." he turned away again but I scoffed.

What he said infuriated me. The authority, the finality; like he was the only person in this hell hole world that had ever lost someone. I marched up behind him and caught him by the crook of his elbow.

"You wanna take that metal head outta your ass for just one fucking second?" I hissed. He looked surprised, but when he looked down at my hand, he clocked my ring. He looked at it for a moment more and then back to me. It was only when he looked up that I realised my eyes were blurred with tears. I dropped his arm.

"Nora..."

"You always were a self righteous prick," I said, quickly wiping away my tears and storming on ahead.

"What happened?"

I laughed, loudly. "Now he wants to know!" I could hear him following me and he quickly caught up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise... You're right. I'm angry at the wrong person."

I said nothing.

"Nora, I might be able to help."

"Why do you think I trekked half way across Boston to find you?" I said.

That shut him up. We walked the rest of the way in silence.

By the time we got back to Diamond City it was late, real late. Probably closer to morning than night. It was hard to tell in the stadium, those damn flood lights took away any decent view of the sky. It was all but deserted. The only sign of life was the ever present guard, geared up in their baseball helmets. Nick lead me down the small alley to his agency and let me inside. It was still as chaotic as it had been when I left the day before. Papers still strewn, file cabinets in disarray. Kellie wasn't here, however and without her the small room was abandoned.

"I can put on some coffee, if you'd like?"

I nodded and took a seat at the crowded desk. I watched him make the coffee in silence. It was still difficult to see past his exterior, but if I squinted my eyes in the low light, there was no mistaking it. Even the way he moved was Nick. How he took off his coat and slung it over the chair, how he rolled up his sleeved before he poured, how he lightly patted his back pocket to check if his cigarettes were there... It was all him.

"I know how you like it sweet but sugar isn't exactly easy to come by these days." He cleared a small space on the desk and set the mug down in front of me.

"Thanks."

He took a seat opposite me as he lit a cigarette.

"So..." he said.

I took a small sip of my coffee and swallowed. It was awful. "I think we got off on the wrong foot," I said.

He smiled, "I think we did."

"Mind if I ask a few questions?"

He nodded, "Understandable."

I swallowed another sip. "So, what's with the whole... Robot thing."

He chuckled as he took another drag of his cigarette, "You've such a way with words." He exhaled and tapped his metal hand. "I'm a synth," he said flatly.

I looked at him to elaborate.

"A synthetic man, all the parts, minus a few red blood cells. I was made by The Institute, you know who they are?"

I shrugged and set my coffee on the table, "I think Piper might have mentioned them."

Nick nodded, "The Commonwealth's boogeyman. If something goes wrong, it's more than likely its the Institute."

I watched him take another draw of his cigarette but shook my head, "That doesn't really explain why you're... you."

"An experiment gone wrong. I was Nick Valentine... I remember all his thoughts, his fears all that poor bastard's hope." He took another draw and stubbed it out. "Before the bombs I remember going to some lab in Cambridge for a neuro-trans... whatever. Next think I know I wake up in a garbage heap. With a whole head of memories that didn't fit this body."

"So.. are you Nick or not?" I asked.

He leaned back into his chair and sighed, "I haven't quite figured that out yet."

There was another brief silence only filled by the whistling of the wind through the crevices of the tin walls. Before long, Nick leaned forward on his desk again, his eyes more focused.

"I've showed you mine," he said.

I nodded and half smiled, the familiar tone of his voice was relaxing.

"Where do I start?"

His metal hand pointed to my wedding ring, "That might be a good place."

I twisted the ring around my finger as thoughts of Nate began to swim in my head. Memories of his smile, his laugh, his lack of common sense, the sex, his tenderness, the way looked at me when he though I couldn't see; all those precious images ebbed and flowed back and fourth and before I could stop it a tear spilled over my cheek.

Bang. The memory of his body, cold and heavy. Dead.

"Hey," Nick gently set his hand on mine and I jumped. "We don't have to do this right now, we can wait a bit."

"No..." I said, pulling my hand away, "The sooner I explain the sooner you can help."

Nick pulled out a pencil and paper from his drawer and waited for me to begin.

I twisted my ring again. "My husband, Nate. He was a soldier"

Nick raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, "Go on."

I side eyed him before continuing, "Well we lived up in Sanctuary Hills, just up past concord."

"I know it," he said, "Military neighbourhood."

"Yea, got some money off it because of Nate's service. Anyway, it meant we were also given a pass to the vault up there. So, you know, the bombs dropped, we made our way up to the vault, Nate had Sean you see."

"Sean?" Nick asked as he scribbled his notes.

"My son."

There came a small crunch from Nick's pencil as the lead broke but he casually swept it off the paper.

"You had a kid?"

I nodded, "He's not old, six months... when I last saw him that is."

Nick sat back in his chair now, "He was taken?"

"See that's the thing," I leaned forward on the desk, "We were frozen. I remember waking up and seeing these people drag Sean from Nate's arms. He tried to fight them off but one of them pulled a gun."

"Nora..."

"I remember the guys face, clear as day. Dark eyes, balding, scar down his left eye."

Nick paused before saying anything else. He licked his lips, or he would have, before he leaned on the desk again.

"Nora. I don't think you're okay."

I didn't know what he meant at first, but the concern that sat heavy on his brow was for me.

"I know," I said, "Who would be okay after that, Jesus Nick. I mean I did just see my husband's brains get blown out. My baby was stolen and I to learn how to use a gun thirty seconds after I woke up but _I'm fine_."

"If a mouth was all it took-"

"Yea I know, I know, we'd all have a merry Christmas. What do you think that I'm some kind of sociopath? I'm dealing with it. I don't even know if its really hit me yet. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I'm still waiting to pinch myself and wake up next to Nate. But what fucking good does it do if I'm wasting time making sure that my head's screwed on? All I know right now is that I have to find my boy. I have to find the bastard that did this."

"So it's retribution," Nick said.

"And what if it is?" I snapped, "Don't tell me you wouldn't see Winter dead if you had the chance."

He stayed quiet for a while before yielding and taking another cigarette out of his pocket. He offered one and I took it. I hadn't smoked since before Sean, it felt strange in my hand.

"This man, you remember the gun he had"

I thought briefly everything in the memory seemed more blue, more dreamlike. Fading.

"I dunno, an old timey thing, huge barrel. Deafening. I don't think I'll ever forget that sound."

Nick took another draw and sighed, the smoke curling out of his metal mouth and escaping through the worn gap in his neck.

"It's a long shot but do you know the name Kellogg?"


End file.
